Monday, July 13, 2009
A story to be told.
"very confused. just dont know why I feel different about everything. just sat and recollected. At first, I felt so important and so needed. I look back thinking about a million ways reasons I got into it. And I thought it was worth it because he was different. I know I cant compare then and now. But then again certain things should stay the same if you love someone.
There are a lot of things that I cant exactly explain in words but somehow it has to be felt. I feel that sometimes when you are always with someone,you can feel what they are feeling. Love is not as complicated as it seems but we are the ones who makes it damn hard to understand.
When you first get to know someone you are really interested in. You let out your feelings, pour your whole heart out,sacrifice everything just to be with the person. Promising that if you are going to be together,he/she will treat you like no other.Even cried for the person and yearning for the persons love.When you finally get to be with the person and eventually the other half falls deeply in love with you and believe with whatever you have promised,you feel contented. You feel that your mission is accomplished.Then you start thinking about the future. Theres this saying that goes
; you cant change the past but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future. But somehow you just happen to think about the future only after you commit yourself. That is definitely not fair for the other half.. Then, you think about letting go.. After you had tried everything to get the person to be with you and to fall in love with you. When the tension heats up..you start blaming the other party for everything that has ever happened. You get sick of the person when he/she starts giving his/her all.Sacrificing for you. You just want space, time alone.. Cause you wonder,am I doing the right thing? Am I making the right decision? Do I really love him/her? Or is this any other passing relationship? Once in a while you find yourself diverting attention to another girl/guy because you are confused with what you want. Your other party feels and knows it but keeps quiet though very hurt.
You would tend to throw tantrums or be in a really foul and bad mood when he/she tried to care. Tried to love. You just tend to neglect that he/she cares. You tend to neglect that he/she have feelings. You know that you love him/her but sometimes you just dont care. You are too proud to even say it. Because you are not sure if you really love him/her or you are just holding on to the memories,or reputation or the fact that you have done a lot for your other half. You see, its not fair for your partner as he/she keeps on fighting with so much emotions. Because he/she is so close to you that he/she is able to feel you. Really feel you.And actually knows what you are feeling deep down. Especially if he/she loves you very much.
Its different. the feeling is very different. Your partner wants you to be the way you were during dating days . Just by caring,feeling and more sensitive like how it used to be. Just showing and once in a while saying that you love each other. Giving the fullest attention,warmth care and concern. Its like feeling that they are the only ones who exist and can give their whole heart to you. Treasure them not just by saying it.. By showing it.. To be completely honest with feelings.. Trusting that they are the only ones who can make you feel so special. Telling everything..being transparent.. Just like how it used to be.
If things are still the same..quietly,your partner keeps getting hurt,keeps fighting back tears. For a past to come back. If he/she realises that it is never possible, if he/she feels that they can never be so special and wonderful like how it used to be.. If he/she finally gives up..He/she will starts learning to try and live without each other.. If he/she finally finds the strength to give it all up.. to start realising that she should be treated better..to start to realise that someone else out there will make her feel like she's the only special one again.. She will finally drift away...and disappear forever.
You may start thinking about everything I've done wrong. But start thinking about everything I've done right. You may start wondering what you have done wrong,but question yourself, everytime you change,everytime you hurt me. Have you considered my feelings..? Every single time you think I am okay,deep down you are so very wrong.
I am always here for you. Always. But will only be here because you need me and not want me. "
-end-
♥ posted on 8:13 AM
